Phalanx Upon Phalanx Of Jam Sandwiches

Many months ago Joe, Cleve and I went to Wisley at the behest of the RHS to chunter on about vegetables. The result has finally been released as part of the RHS Grow Your Own campaign. Quite how many people will be inspired to start scattering courgette seeds by seeing this film I am not at all sure. Probably millions: it may even result in golf courses being ploughed up and turned over to strawberries and the verges of the country’s motorways strewn with healthy berries. It can be seen on the RHS website or right here (right now (i)). As a special Blog readers only offer this version is very slightly different (ii), it is, as it were, the directors cut so you will be able to brag to your less privileged friends about how very special and different you are. It is accessible only to you lucky readers by using this super secret link.

The animation and rather superior filming and editing is thanks to my elder son Archie and Robin Reeder.

In other places:

Speeding is a bad thing: I have learnt this in great detail having spent four hours in a sparse conference room at a golf centre just outside Milton Keynes. It is a bit like being put in detention but more interesting. I learnt about various Highway Code things which I had forgotten and other fascinating facts. For example: in an accident the box of tissues sitting on your parcel shelf acquires the density, speed and velocity of a flying house brick. The same would, presumably, be the case for a nodding dog. We did not cover furry dice on this occasion: an omission I hope that we will not come to regret. 

It has been pretty much the last week for many Tulips. At least I think so as the sunshine is doing them absolutely no favours at all. I have been beetling around the place checking on the little loves before it is too late. One client has just gone away for three weeks and is likely to miss every single one so I thought that the only decent thing I could do was to go and appreciate them on his behalf. I love the overconfidence of tulips.

I have also been massively appreciating the Bluebells. We live next door to a deciduous wood which produces the most exceptional Bluebells through which we walk every morning. There is also some rotter who, in previous years, has driven a Quad Bike through the wood squishing flowers like grapes beneath a steam hammer. This is not generally considered a good thing to do.

Oh, and while I am on bulbs I might as well show you some Anemones from a couple of weeks ago.: these are under a huge beech tree in my mother-in-law’s garden and are always amazing.

The coming weekend marks not just the wedding of Young William and his thin fiancee it is also the beginning of Grand Designs Live in London. If you would like a ticket then please ask soon or else it will be too late and then you will be sorry. The show runs from 30th April right through to the 8th May culminating in a live performance by Three Men Went To Mow. There will be free garden consultations and many people demonstrating kitchen equipment. I am present on the 2nd, 3rd,6th,7th and 8th if you wanted to bring me freshly baked cake.

This short life is bejewelled with small diversions: in particular accidental website visiting. The first time this happened was way back in 1995 when many fewer people had access to the internet. My brother was one of those: I remember sitting looking at this new phenomenon accompanied by my small children. The film Babe (cute pig, grumpy farmer, evil baddies etc etc) had just come out so we decided to try a babe related website.

For your future reference, this is a big mistake if one is trying to protect the innocent minds of small children. Good idea if your life is short of silicone enhanced naked humping.

These little incidents keep happening: one of my favourites is when I am ordering oil. The supplier is called yobco and their website is Every time I put in and every time I am pleasantly surprised. Go and look for yourselves and marvel at the attractiveness of the photograph and supreme dullness of the layout. Also had no idea that there was a place called Holidaysburg and now wish to visit especially after seeing the picture of the skyline on Wikipedia

The main picture is of Quince blossom.

I am listening to My City of Ruins by Bruce Springsteen.

(i) If I may borrow the words of Mr Fatboy Slim.

(ii) It is only slightly different, but it is definitely shorter which has to be a good thing in anybody’s book.